Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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