He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
