Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Randomize
