if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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