I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Blood and glitter go together right?
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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