my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
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