I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
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