I'm jealous of your bromance
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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