homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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