Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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