i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Randomize
