I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
