I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize