my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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