I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
No more Irish car bombs ever.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
