I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
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