Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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