i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
