Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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