proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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