marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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