So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
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