Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Randomize
