So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize
