and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I touched a dick in church today
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Randomize
