Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Randomize