got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Randomize
