Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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