I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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