Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
