you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
