Your tits are I can't wait for
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
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