Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
