I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
If I die, sorry about rent.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
