Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
