Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
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