just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
