Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
