Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
