Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Randomize
