tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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