one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
