He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
