I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Randomize
