3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
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