In the future we'll all be gay
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Randomize
