Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
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