Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize
