Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Randomize