You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Randomize
