I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
