Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
