we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
