So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
