booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
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