U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
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