K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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