his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
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